Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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