When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
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The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize