i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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