Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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