Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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