that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
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Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
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Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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