i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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