haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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