hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize