My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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