So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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