I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize