These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize