Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Your shirt... Was in my pants
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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