Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
im holly from the hills drunk
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize