He is an equal opportunity slut.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
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Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
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I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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