i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize