did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
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no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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