so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize