she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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