scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize