I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
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24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
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I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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