also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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