I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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