A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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