I hate your face
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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