I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize