Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize