I wanna bring you to show and tell
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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