dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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