Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The ass gains better be worth it
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