hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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