For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize