I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize