I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
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You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
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We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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