So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
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She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
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Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
you never un-have a 4some
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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