apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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