I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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