google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize