so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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