i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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