every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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