my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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