We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
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My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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