fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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