i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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