It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize