I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize