i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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