Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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