Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You are a genius and a whore.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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