your room smells of hookers.
And success
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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